Can i not drive my cunt home
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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