i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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