Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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