she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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