pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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