Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
