I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
