Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
