Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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