So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize