I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize