as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
