Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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