sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
