You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize