i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
