you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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