Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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