Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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