he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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