I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
