I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My pussy is not your playground.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
