Sponge bath it is.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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