there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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