My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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