I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
