i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
