His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We are all done wearing pants today
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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