I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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