So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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