I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
