So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
