just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
