let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
