Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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