Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I pour the whiskey from now on
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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