It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize