Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
