He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
