I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
