I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
