Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
