He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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