I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And then my night got REAL pukey
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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