wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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