you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My ATM looks so different sober.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
