Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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