Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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