hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
