Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
