what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
