I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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