So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need water and some morals
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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