Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
