ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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